July 24, 2012

POLITICAL HUMOR WITH A GREAT DEAL OF TRUTH

I can't vouch for the accuracy of all these quotations which were emailed to me by a friend, but they're so much fun I figured, "Why bother checking Snopes?"

This is election year in the US, Russia , China, France , Egypt , Mexico, Taiwan, Venezuela, Kuwait and about 30 other countries around the world, so the following quotes are in order:

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

~Aesop, Greek slave & fable author

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being
governed by those who are dumber.

~Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even
where there is no river.

~Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm
beginning to believe it.

~Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow for the Defense' by Irving Stone.

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the
tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton, American actor/writer

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign
funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

~Oscar Ameringer, "the Mark Twain of American Socialism."

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you
smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn.
AND
The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and
then they get elected and prove it.

~P.J. O'Rourke, American comedian and writer.

I offered my opponents a deal: "if they stop telling lies about me, I
will stop telling the truth about them".

~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952..

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

~ Texas Guinan. 19th century American businessman

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to
be left to the politicians.

~Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be
better to change the locks.

~Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris, 1902-1981)

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

~ Variously attributed to Will Rogers and George Bernard Shaw

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