August 10, 2012

HUMOR . . . GROANERS

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.


Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.


Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.


Practice safe eating - always use condiments.


A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.


Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.


I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.


Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.


A hangover is the wrath of grapes.


Corduroy pillows are making headlines.


Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?


Sea captains don't like crew cuts.


Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?


A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.


Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.


Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.


Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.


A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.


Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.


When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.


A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.