June 27, 2012

Part 3: The ultimate "You know you're from Long Island when . . ." list

By Dan Chapman and Phil Ebel IV

From Hey Long Island... Do U Remember....?

101. Billy Joel said it best, "Either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore."

102. You know White Castle is terrible for you and it gives you a stomach ache, but you periodically "Get the Crave".

103. You've missed that "Drunk Train," the 2:42 out of Penn Station, and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.

104. You've never taken an MTA bus.

105. Grucci Fireworks. …The best.

106. The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.

107. You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.

108. You know which parts of the Godfather were filmed on Long Island.

109. You've paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for it.

110. You think that somehow the Jets and Giants still play in New York.

111. "Either you have, or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these places: Babylon, Port Washington, Hicksville or Ronkonkoma.

112. You know that there is a big difference between any of the other Hamptons and Hampton Bays.

113. You've been stuck in a traffic jam for more than two hours (without moving).

114. Your parents took you to All American, Nathan's or Carvel on the way home from the beach.

115. You remember Grumman and knew somebody who worked there.

116. You know the color of the water at Jones Beach is not blue.

117. You know which beach at Moses is the Family Beach, and which one is the Cool Beach.

118. You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's and Arby's closed for good.

119. You can spout off all the LIRR stops between Penn Station and Ronkonkoma.

120. When you went strawberry picking, you ate more strawberrys in the field than you brought back to pay for in your basket.

121. The movie theaters with the biggest screens were in Bay Shore and Patchogue.

122. You know you can’t eat pizza on the sidewalk in Ocean Beach.

123. Some people “Axe” questions rather than “Ask” questions.

124. You think the people from Brooklyn are "da wunz dat tawk wit a accent."

125. You went sledding in the sumps.

126. You knew of Massapequa before the Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco nightmare.

127. You think going to Queens is a hike.

128. You always take the long way to Sag Harbor.

129. The first time you heard the term "Long Island Iced Tea" you were somewhere else and you laughed.

130. The first time you ate Long Island duckling, you weren’t on Long Island.

131. When you live somewhere else, you’re astounded to see that people actually stop at yellow lights.

132. It’s rare to get really bad bagels or pizza on Long Island, almost as rare as it is to get good bagels and pizza anywhere else.

133. You’ve been to Adventureland in Farmingdale.

134. You’ve never been to the Statue of Liberty.

135. Gene Wilder wrote “Blazing Saddles” in Easthampton.

136. You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island.

137. You've partied in the woods at least once in your life.

138. You know what Pilgrim State and Sweet Hollow Road are ... and you are NEVER going again.

139. You are never more than 20 minutes away from the water.

140. You have been to at least one concert at Jones Beach.

141. Steven Spielberg lives here.

142. When you hear "the end", you think Montauk. Orient Point never crosses your mind.

143. You know who Robert Moses was.

144. You’ve seen an albino deer near the Westhampton Airport.

145. The Town of Orient hasn’t changed in over 40 years.

146. You have a friend who swears they saw Billy Joel somewhere in Oyster Bay.

147. When people ask "where are you from?" you answer Long Island and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.

148. You run to get a seat on the train leaving Penn Station, and then you get up and stand by a door five stops prior to yours.

149. Last Call is at 3:50AM.

150 You can curse in Italian even if you don't have an ounce of Italian blood.